Controlled Chaos...

Reader-Mommy,

I do apologize for my negligence in the area of daily postings this week.  I will write tomorrow and explain the reasons...

Today I learned that lime green is a great color for a bathroom!

Saturday night...

Reader-mommy,

Ever feel like no matter how much you fight the mess you will never win?  There is always one more article of clothing, piece of garbage, scrap of paper, binky, bottle, or toy that remains on the floor.  What's really fun is when someone purchases your child that toy that won't shut up and every time it is bumped it rings out a tune at a volume that would rival an entire matching band in full chorus!  It is never a pleasant song that soothes your otherwise frazzled nerves.  No.  It is one of those song that you heard, no doubt, as a toddler when one of your toys belted out the same tune in your tender little ears forever branding it on your forming memory.  Until you had children of your own, you had forgotten this little melody.  However, now it plays on and on throughout your day.  You could call it the theme of your life.  

I have come to the conclusion that in order to get the upper hand on the various toys that inevitably end up decorating floors of my ENTIRE house, I must capture and cage the things.  This is done in any variety of ways.  They can be placed in a temporary holding pen (otherwise known as a toy basket), they can be put out to pasture (better known as storage bins) until such a time that the current toys are no longer interesting.  If these are not enough for any given toy,  more drastic action can be taken, in which case you slaughter the beast (or snatch it up off the floor, march it out to the garbage can and victoriously toss in the toy).  As you stroll back into the house you hear it helplessly playing that maddening tune one last time.  This is, of course, an extreme action reserved only for special toys, toys that were invented by a non-mommy, purchased by a non-mommy that somehow made it into the home of a MOMMY.

Today I learned that everyone wants to hold the baby until she cries. Then I get her.

So...

Thursday came way sooner than I would have liked.  However, it is here and that means it is "weigh day"!  I would love to be able to say that I lost 3 more pounds and am not only feeling good, but I am starting to look like Barbie with my skinny little waist and massive boobs.  Don't get jealous, reader-mommy, that is not the case.  I didn't lose any weight, I am still 131. I also don't look like Barbie.  I guess that means I still have work to do.  

Because I am trying not to lose weight too quickly, I have to modify my lifestyle one small step at a time to lose the last 15 pounds of baby weight that is still desperately clinging to my body.  Since I am no longer losing weight, I will now start to modify one weight related habit at a time.  I modify one thing after until I stop losing weight, then I'll add another modification.  For instance, I start by cutting back on sugar.  When that no longer works on it's own, I'll also cut back on carbs and so on.  Note that I don't cut OUT anything.  I only cut BACK on things.  I have found that when I cut something out completely I end up obsessing about it and inevitably break down resulting in guilt and a few extra pounds.  Modifying one habit at a time also gives me stronger will power.  Instead of going after the whole bee hive, I just smash one bee at a time...sorry Berry B. Benson.

Now, it's time to start modifying habits.  The first thing I will modify is my sugar intake.  I find that when I am not really hungry, just trying to satisfy the munchies, I eat mostly sweets (containing both high fat and high calories, neither being conducive to losing weight). So, cutting back on sugar allow me to eat better and less.  After my last pregnancy I lost most of my weight just by cutting back on sweets.  We'll have to wait and see if it still works!

Today I learned that it's much easier to get poop out of CROCS than sherling slippers.

Time to Eat...

Ok...

I am starting to think everything in my life is somehow related to food.  If I am not planning the menu for food, I am buying food. If I am not buying food, I am preparing food. If I am not preparing food, I am feeding someone food.  If I am not feeding someone food, I am cleaning up whatever mess was made either preparing the food or from the person who ate the food.  Even if everything is clean and everyone is fed I still don't get a break from food.  This is when it is time to sit down with a cup of coffee and a muffin to feed myself (in order to ensure that I am able to make milk to feed the baby) while I make a list of all the food item I need to go out and buy so that I can maintain this whole ridiculous cycle!  

The craziness does not stop there.  I have to consider the collateral damage of food. Once the food has done it's duty to my has-been physique I spend more time and energy working out in hopes of somehow redistributing the lumps, bumps and unwanted extra so that I look sexy when we go out with friends to enjoy, what else, FOOD!  And the list goes on...

Now I have to go put together my menu for this weeks so that I know what food I need to buy.  At some point maybe I'll figure out how to stop the insanity.  When I do, you, reader-mommy, will be the first to know. 

Today I learned that just because she spit up her body weight in fluid less that 2 minutes ago does not mean she can't do it again right away!

Weigh In...

Reader-Mommy, 

Okay, here's the deal, I am now 7 weeks postpartum and am setting out on my expedition to find my post-baby body.  The exciting part is that you-mommies are going to be my traveling companions.  Wether or not you have just had a baby,  or if you-mommy just have an extra pound or two to lose, you-mommy are my workout buddy.  

Thursdays are going to be dedicated to fitness.  Every week, I will weigh in and post my weight for all the world to see!  I have taken before pictures (one of the front and one of the side, both full body shots, yikes!).  Once I get this post-baby body back to my pre-baby weight I will take the same pictures and post both sets together.  If you-mommy would like to lose weight as well, I would encourage you-mommy to give your weight each week in your comment to Thursdays' blogs so that we can be accountable to each other.  Sound good? Okay, ready or not, here we go...

My final pregnancy weight was 163 pounds (give me a break, I did have a 9 pound 9 ounce). As of today, 7 weeks later, I weigh 131.  My pre-baby weight was 116-119.  Do the math and I have 15-18 pounds to lose.  Because I am breast feeding I can't lose the weight to fast or my milk production will go down and my poor little angel won't get enough to eat, it really is a vicious cycle.  That being said, my goal is to lose 2 pounds a week for the next 8 weeks.  Obviously, weight loss is never a seamless endeavor and some weeks will be more and some weeks will be less.  At the end of the day it will probably take more like 10-12 weeks for me to lose all the weight.  For those of you-mommies that want to get in on this weight loss action, do what I just did to figure out your own timeline (current weight - desired weight /2 = weeks losing weight) and put that in your comment so that I know how long to keep you-mommy accountable.  

Today I learned that 2-year olds have the ability to say "mama, mama, mama..." at least 12,000 times if you don't respond. 

A Four Letter Word...

Reader-Mommy,

Let's talk about a four letter word that is, in fact, a six letter word.  That word is budget.  I am not sure if it is an American thing or if the rest of the world has the same negative feelings about a budget. I think we think that a budget is only for poor people when the fact of the matter is not having a budget is what makes or keeps people poor. People can never afford to not know where their money is going. The rich either do it themselves, or have someone do it for them. Either way it gets done. 

I would like to discuss the whole idea of a budget because I feel it is an integral part of mommy-hood that is very often ignored.  We as mommies have a responsibility to our households.  I am not talking the whole 1950's checkered apron, beehive hair do, paste on a fake "my world could not be better" smile and hum while making a five course dinner kind of idea.  I am saying that as a woman, we-mommies have abilities that our husbands don't have.  Those abilities are not only necessary in the raising of kids, but in all other aspects of running a successful home (and, yes, there is a huge difference between a successful home and an unsuccessful home). One of those responsibilities is helping to manage the home's finances.  I am not saying that we have to do everything with the money, I would be terrible at that, but we-mommies do need to be a part of the monthly planning, or budgeting, of the household's income.  We need to know how much is coming in, how much is going out, and where it is going.  To do this, my husband and I take the following steps:

First, we have a monthly "meeting" to go over those three specifics.  Because my husband is the nerdy one of the two of us, he gets way more into the finances with Quicken and calculators and so on, but I still have a responsibility as his wife and as a co-runner of the household be educated in the area of our finances.  

Second, once we have gone over the how much and where to's, my husband and I set up a BUDGET (calm down, we do survive and live happily ever after).  Basically, we are telling our money where to go and making sure it goes there.  It is much like potty training. You point the kid in the direction of the bathroom and make sure the pee gets in the potty.    

Third, we make sure we spend the money according to the budget.  If we have allocated $300 for car maintenance, I can't decide to buy a new handbag with that.  If I have $250 for clothes, he can't buy the latest "must-have" in technology with that.  It's great because then I know that when I am spending money, I can afford to be purchasing that thing or those things. This gives me, as a women, such a sense of security and that makes me a better mommy!

Today I learned that you can, in fact, be in two places at one time.  Just learn to use your feet as hands.  

Cry Baby...

Reader-Mommy,

My youngest is 7 weeks old, or will be tomorrow.  She is now sleeping 7 and 8 hours at a time and has been doing this for about 2 weeks.  My toddler did the same thing. I watched very carefully this time around to see if I could figure out what it was that causes my babies to sleep so well.  I have talked with numerous parents struggling to get their infant to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.  So, hopefully this post will help those of you either struggling to get you baby to fall asleep or struggling to train your baby to stay asleep.  Please note that is just something I do that has worked very well and I am sharing it with my reader-mommies simply as that.  I don't take any responsibility for other's experiences.  

I have found that the answer to this very stressful and extremely frustrating issue is to simple let my baby cry!  I pick a reasonable hour for my baby's bedtime.  I choose the time based on when she starts to show signs of fatigue such as excessive crying, droopy eye lids, restlessness, etc. If I wait too long, she becomes overly tired at which point she can get inconsolable and completely irrational making my job nearly impossible. If I choose the time too early, she won't be tired, therefore, this whole plan of attack backfires.  It is very important that this time stays consistent.  I put her down at 10, one hour after my toddler which gives me some one on one time with her. I make sure she has clean diapers and a good meal.  I have found that it is very important that she has had a good meal before bedtime!  This helps makes her feel tired.  

Okay, now she is all ready...I just have one more thing to do, put her in bed and let her cry!  I make sure she is safe with nothing in her crib that could hurt her such as excessive blankets, stuffed animals, etc.  I make sure she is warm and comfortable.  I try to have everything done right in order to be able to assure myself and she is not crying because something is wrong.  Sometimes babies just cry.  Maybe they are just like the rest of us and get cranky when they are tired. As soon as I lay her down she begins crying.  It's okay.  I just think of it as a baby workout.  It is going to wear her out so she will sleep better, hooray!  While she is crying I stay close enough to hear her, but not in the same room.  I let her cry for about 15 minutes.  If she hasn't stopped for at least 30 seconds during that time, I go in, pick her up and cuddle her for about 2 minutes.  Sometimes she will instantly snuggle in and falls asleep in my arms.  After the 2 minutes, I put her back down and do it all over again.  

What I have found is that even if I didn't put her in her bed and let her cry, she would be fussy anyways.  Then it becomes one of those situations where you say things you don't mean like "I HATE BEING A MOM!" "I AM DONE!" "IF THIS IS THE KIND OF BABY YOUR ARE, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE ANY FRIENDS WHEN YOU GROW UP!" and so on.  At the end of the day when Baby has finally fallen asleep, you find yourself repenting for everything your said earlier and praying that they won't remember the last hour and become some kind of crazy person when they grow up because they were damaged my their mother at such a tender age.  When I do bedtime or nap time the way I described above, there are a couple of very positive things that happen.  First and foremost, me and my baby are not getting angry at each other.  Second, she learns to put herself to sleep.  She also learns that the world does not revolve around her, the first step in not becoming a spoiled brat!  Finally, bedtime becomes a breeze instead of a two-hour struggle!  

I hope this helps some of you-mommies.  It is a little bit trial and error.  The main thing I do is to make sure that Baby learns to put himself/herself to sleep.  

Today I learned that multi-tasking cannot be taught...to a man!

Do it all over again...

Reader-Mommy,

I am, as I am sure you-mommy are, exhausted!  I feel like I am functioning in a perpetual state of exhaustion.  I wake up sleepy, am sleepy all day and, finally, go to bed sleepy.  The primary problem lies in the fact that I rarely get a normal nights sleep and when I do it is merely a game of catch up as opposed to what sleep should be, getting ahead.  This whole affair would not be so horrible if I had a nice 8 to 5 sort of day.  

A mommies day is more than somewhat demanding.  I never sit, except to fold the laundry. Even that is hit and miss depending on how much of my couch is taken up by the mountains of newly washed clothes.  If I am not changing a diaper, I am trying to get my toddler to the bathroom and all set up in front of the potty before he does his business on the floor.  If I am not putting in the Bee Movie then I am playing tractors.  If I am not feeding one of my two kids than I am cleaning up what they just ate.  On the occasion that they are both napping at the same time, I am trying to clean up what damage has been done to the house since they woke up that morning. Somewhere in there I am suppose to take a shower, do my hair and put on some makeup before my husband comes home in hopes of at least remotely resemble to woman he knew back before we had kids.  As if all that wasn't enough, there are always the little extras like calling friends or family back since their phone messages expressed concerns as to whether or not you were still living in the country!  

The true beauty of all this is that I finally get to bed and try to get some sleep so that I can get up the next morning and do it all over again...

Today I learned that only certain poopies float in the tub! 

Put it on...

So...

I am experience that really exciting part of postpartum life, that love-hate relationship you develop with your body.  On one hand you love it because it has just produced the newest little love of your life. You can to things you never thought you could do like prepare a four-course meal with your feet because you have to hold your newborn and color with your toddle all at the same time. If you are breast feeding, you are amazed that those two pebbles stuck to the front of your chest are now boulders large enough to give Dolly Parton a run for her money. However, there is another side to the positive.  It is this other side that I am going to discuss...

We live in a funny time as far as body image is concerned. Later I will look, more in depth, at the whole weight war in america, but today I will look at a lighter side of mommies fight with the postpartum body, how the heck do we-mommies dress the thing?!  If we-mommies had our way we-mommies would simply hide all our pre-baby clothes so as to remove all feelings of guilt brought on by the fact that we-mommies can no longer fit into those size 2 jeans. We-mommies would then climb into our trusty ol' set of oversized sweats.  In our postpartum minds, this outfit should work for everything.  It is, after all, just a transitional "style" that we-mommies plan to sport for a month or so while getting back to our pre-baby weight.  Let's face it, this plan is neither affective nor attractive.  The primary problem lies in the fact that the outfit of choice, the oversized sweats, makes us-mommies feel very comfortable thus eliminating one of the primary catalysts of change, the feeling of being uncomfortable.  Secondly, what we-mommies don't realize is that the rest of the world only sees our lack of fashion sense and draws their conclusions accordingly.  Few or none will ever say to themselves "Oh, I totally understand why she is dressed like that.  Even though she looks like a sasquatch and I can't tell if she currently weights 300 pounds or 130 pounds, I am sure she just had a baby and is only weeks away from being back to her pre-baby weight." Though we-mommies wish that is how everyone's mind worked, that is not the case.  It is a cruel world out there.

Here is my secret that I am sharing with all my reader-mommies...dress the body you currently have in clothes that fit!  One of the biggest motivations for me is when I see that I am actually a couple sizes bigger than I thought I was.  If you can't squeeze into a size 4, it is a lot harder to make yourself believe you are still a size 2 (which you have been telling yourself even though you-mommy have been too scared to try on those jeans to prove it).  Reality check!  So, you keep your motivation to get back to pre-baby weight.  However, by dressing the body you-mommy have, you-mommy come across as a confident, intelligent individual.  You-mommy will be treated better, you-mommy will feel better, your family, particularly your husband, will thank you-mommy, and all those friends who's invitations you-mommy had to turn down because of the new baby will no longer be embarrassed to be seen with you-mommy!  Suddenly, when world is not such a cruel place...

Today I learned that when you get to your whit's end, all your ideal parenting theories go right out the window...candy before lunch? Sure!

Happy Friday...

Reader-Mommy, 

Hooray for the weekend!  Weekends mean something different to everyone.  They can mean catching up on homework, yard work, sleeping, relaxing with friends or family, cleaning, doing fix-it projects, and on and on.  For mommies, the weekend means the same thing the rest of the week meant...diapers, picking up, diapers, feeding, diapers, cooking, diapers, finding where that horrible smell is coming from, diapers, cleaning up that horrible smell (which, of course means cleaning out your entire fridge because the smell was coming from that tiny container of left-overs way in the back), changing more diapers, giving the kids a tubby, and, finally, the last change of diapers before putting them to bed.  But thank goodness for the weekend!  At least someone somewhere gets a few days off. 

For me, the weekend started with my going on a date.  A date! My husband and I could not remember the last time we had been out, just the two of us.  I think we came up with something like 8 months since such an event had taken place.  We didn't do anything fancy or elaborate, just dinner at Chick-fil-a and a movie (by the way, I would highly recommend Leatherheads if you are in the mood for a light-hearted comedy).  Like I said, nothing elaborate, but it was so nice to have something to get dressed up for (meaning put on a bra and wear something other than my comfies and house slipper).  For four hours it was just my husband and me, no kids. We had just started remembering what that was like.  Then the movie ended, the credits began to roll and as soon as I thought about the kids, my milk let down.  Back to reality...

Today I learned that the idea of "potty training in a day" is a myth created to give moms like me a complex! 

Let's Get Started!

Hello, to all my reader-mommies (in this blog every word pertaining to you as a mother will be preceded by "-mommy" since, as a mother, everything in your life in enveloped in the fact that you are indeed a mother), 

Welcome to Makeover Mommy!  I am creating this blog and will be investing time and energy, neither of which I have to spare, in maintaining it because I feel very strongly that Makeover Mommy will serve a very important purpose.  It will create for mothers across the world a sense of community.  By doing so, it is my hope that it will remove that sense of isolation that inevitably sets in the moment your first child is born and your schedule takes it's first punch in the face as you turn down invitation after invitation due to your new bundle of joy.  Makeover Mommy will be made up of daily entries (I will miss a day here and there because I am, of course, a mommy) consisting of my thoughts on fashion, food, marriage and relationships, finances, fitness and, most of all, motherhood.  I will be posting as one of the last things I do before going to bed so I ensure that each entry contains all the emotions, chaos, and joy of a complete day.  

Thank you for joining me on what promises to be one wild ride!