Days Like Today...

Dear Reader-Mommy,

...and you thought something tragic had happened to me.  No, just life with one husband, two kids, and countless house remodeling projects.  

Here is a question for all you-mommies out there; what do you-mommy do on days like today?What's special about today?  I am so exhaustedly tired that my 5 month old feels like a two ton bag of bricks, everything my toddler says sound like gibberish coming through a scratched CD, I can't stand the thought of doing what I need to do to organize my laundry room and all I want to do is sit and eat oreos because I get the munchies when I am this far passed tired.  I'll tell you-mommy what I do...I eat the oreos! And while I enjoy the calorie cluster of goodness I tell myself that TONIGHT I will get to bed on time so as not be repeat the blundersom day I had today (and, yes, "blundersom" is a word).  What I fail to realize is that I have been telling myself that I would get to bed on time for the last two weeks and three days which is why I am in this state of being in the first place.  So, until sleep, blessed sleep, decides to visit my little house once again, I will be going through oreos by the SLEEVE!

Today I learned that Boudreaux Butt Paste does not come out of whites!

Remember When...

Reader-Mommy,

Do you ever feel like you-mommy are becoming the worst version of yourself?  Remember when you knew the lyrics to the Top 10 and sing along with the artist (who's name and bios you also knew) while driving to your pilates class in your cutie little XS workout outfit.  You'd turn the heads of all the guys in the cars around you.  Now the only attention you get on the road are those "I can't believe she left the house looking like that" stares. Remember yourself when you-mommy were thin, organized, athletic, social, and smart.  Smart! That's a word I'd forgotten.  I should look it up in the dictionary to see if it still means the same thing.  The dictionary...where did I put that?

I have to keep telling myself that I'll get it all back someday.  Once my kids are school-age and I have more than half a minute per day to myself I can start getting smart again.  I have no idea where to begin that process.  Nonetheless, I will.  I think I'll start by reading up on all the happenings around the world getting caught up on politics, fashion, people and anything else I can think of.  I'd read a self-help book cover to cover in one afternoon instead of spread it over 14 months, which defeats the purpose because by the time you get to the last chapter you don't remember what you were reading in the first place. After that, I may bust open an algebra book and re-learn how to work some of the problems.  Next I would go shopping and purchase a couple of outfits for their stylish appeal instead of for their utilitarian features such as how easy it is going to be to breast feed in this top or does this color hide food, dirt, and spit up stains. Once that was done, I would take up a hobby, something I enjoy doing just for the sake of doing it, something like tennis.  Back in the day I used to play tennis. I wonder if it is still around?  Finally, once all this was done, I'd call up a girlfriend, if I have any left by this time, and schedule a coffee date.  We'd meet to do nothing other than sit, sip our grossly overpriced and entirely impractical beverages and talk about everything I mentioned above.  We'd talk about the latest fashion and who we would like to see win the election.  We'd talk about how much we like that new book. We tell each other about how we were once again getting checked out at our gym.  Maybe we'd even hum a few lines from the latest hit songs.  Then again, we'd probably end up chatting about the most important part of our lives...our kids.  

Today I learned that you CAN mow the lawn with a 2-year-old strapped to your back.  

Tipping the Scales...

Reader-mommy,

It has been a month now and still no weight loss results.  By now I should be feeling sexy and looking at least presentable in a swim suit.  Neither seems to be the case.  After weighing in last Thursday (although I didn't post on Weigh Day) and this morning I am rather depressed to say that within those two weeks, I haven't lost anything!  I still weigh 134. It is time for more drastic action.  

Because I am breast feeding I can't modify my diet too much or, as I have experiences all too often, my milk production will suffer and my infant won't get the nutrition she needs.  Why do I feel like a dairy cow?  Since my diet can't be modified much more, I am going to have to break out of a two and a half year rut and start seriously working out again. After my first pregnancy, I was able to lose all 48 baby pound just by cutting back on sugar, drinking a ton of water, and walking a few times a week.  I have tried that this time around with little to no results. My husband recently joined a health club and has been encouraging me to do the same. So, I guess it is time to hit the gym, darn it!

I will continue to keep my sugar intake low and my water intake high.  Now, I'll just be burning more calories.  We'll see if that does the trick...any suggestions from my reader-mommies?

Today I learned that all booboos can be fixed with a kiss.

Laws of Motherhood...

Reader-mommy,

In science and math, there are laws that always hold true.  Facts that don't change no matter what the condition or who is applying said principals.  We-mommies know that there is also a set of laws that highlight our lives.  Today, we'll be discussing the 6 Laws of Motherhood. These six laws are quite significant and universally true.  Every mother has, at some point, or soon will, experience each law and each time the result is the same...a feeling that you-mommy are, indeed, the worst mommy in the whole world! They are as follows:

1. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong in a public setting and it is ALWAYS your fault.  

2. At any given point, you-mommy are only 5.3 seconds away from a new disaster. 

3. When you-mommy are in a hurry to get ready, makeup and hair are impossible!

4. The more important the occasion, the higher the number of stains that will be deposited onto your outfit before walking out the door.  

5. You-mommy only need all that crap in your diaper bag when you-mommy forget the diaper bag at home. 

6. The entire house is only ever entirely clean when nobody is coming over.  The one time in your adult life that you-mommy sit down in the middle of the day before all your cleaning is done to finish watching that movie you-mommy started to TRY to watch over a week ago that is the time your husband comes home early, your in-laws drop by for a surprise visit and your neighbor comes over to return the cake pan she borrowed two years ago.  

I am sharing the 6 Laws of Motherhood so that mommies will longer be embarrassed by the effect of these laws.  Whether you-mommy experience one of these laws or all of them at the same time you-mommy can rest easy knowing that there are other mommies all over the world experiencing them as well.  Just smile at whomever is staring at you and move on...

Today I learned that toddlers eat anything as long as it has ketchup on it.

Nailed It...

Reader-Mommy,

Who would have thought that taking time for yourself makes you BETTER at taking care of others.  As mommies, we are constantly caring for, cleaning up after, looking out for, and thinking about our kids.  From the time we get up in the morning (usually prompted by someone banging on your door or hollering for you-mommy to come get them out of their crib) to the time you-mommy go to bed at night (usually 2.5 hours later than you-mommy had hoped because of some unforeseen crisis that ensued as soon as bedtime was announced) you-mommy constantly have someone else on the forefront of your mind.  I am here to give you-mommy permission to take some time just for you-mommy every day!  The better you-mommy feel about yourself the better mommy you-mommy will be for your kids.  Of the typical things that most mothers struggle with, low self-esteem is one of the bigger issues.  So, let's do a few little thing to make ourselves feel a little sexier, a little, prettier, a little bit more like a lady and a little less like a dirty dish towel.  

To start, pick something, it doesn't have to be anything big or expensive, that you-mommy can do a couple times a week that remind you-mommy that you-mommy are a woman.  It can't be something like working out or taking a shower.  Those are the things you should do because you are a human being.  I am talking about something that is completely unnecessary and extremely impractical like a home facial or going tanning. Something very girly! For me, it is doing my nails.  I don't go to a salon because, quite frankly, I can't afford a $30 manicure every two days, but I do buy O.P.I polishes and other high quality nail care tools that will ensure a nice looking home mani.  I take about 20 minutes every three days to work on my nails.  Do I have something else I could be doing...YES! Is it practical...NO! Do they stay done very long...NO! But they are constantly out in front of me and every time I see them I feel just a little bit more feminine. Albeit when I see them, they are wiping a poopy butt, washing dishes, or folding another load of laundry, nonetheless, there they are and they look good!

So, reader-mommy, choose something, putting on makeup, wearing a cutie little sun dress or dangly earrings, something that makes you-mommy feel pretty. Then do that a couple times a week just for you!  

Today I learned that two dozen orange roses looks beautiful on my kitchen table.  Thanks, honey!

Scale Bliss...

Hooray!

Well, reader-mommy, Thursday has come once again which means that it is time to hop up on the scale to face the inevitable.  You-mommy can probably already tell how my weigh in went.  Not good!  First of all, I didn't weigh in last week.  A big no-no when you are trying to lose weight.  If you-mommy forget or are unable to weigh in on your set weigh day, be sure you-mommy weigh yourself as soon as possible, but always at the same time of day as you-mommy do on your weigh day.  I say this because each day you-mommy go past your weigh day, you-mommy psych yourself out more and more.  Eventually, you-mommy have rebuilt the fear of the scale that was stopping you-mommy from weighing in for the last however many years.   Ignorance is bliss, so we-mommies are boldly stepping up onto our scales and declaring, "We don't want bliss! We want our bodies back!" 

Yes, I did weigh in today.  It was not a blissful moment.  I did, as I said before, skip a week, so I was scared to death step up there this morning and face the truth.  The truth was that I have GAINED 4 pounds!  This is not how things are suppose to go for no other reason than that is not what I want.  I was suppose to cut back on sugar, but I didn't.  SO, since my little wake up call this morning, I have a whole new motivation to start making some changes to start seeing the results I want.  The changes I want do not include this bigger butt that has been making itself at home on my once sexy hips.  This week, I AM cutting back on sugar and upping my H2O intake (that means drinking more water).  We'll see if that will works.  I know that will work, we'll see if I work...

Today I learned that your laundry more than doubles while you are potty training!

A Fixer-Upper...

Reader-Mommy,

Remodeling is a funny word.  What it's true definition is has yet to be determined and will only ever be fully understood by those poor individuals naive enough to not know the difference between a good idea and a really stupid one.  It starts out with the fantasy of making the ugly beautiful, of choosing your paint colors and flooring, and building something wonderful with your own two hands. However, it ends in utter denial leaving you forever questioning your own sanity.  

What remodeling truly means is living in an unfinished home with your life in limbo because no, you can't finish decorating the living room until you know how the color scheme is going to work out in the dining room, but you can't choose the color scheme in the dining room until you know how much paint you are going to have left over from the bathroom which is presently on hold until the plumber comes to finish installing the fixtures which means that you are currently brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink also doubling as your kids' bathtub since the tile just got ripped out of your other bathroom.  You may have told yourself that you can live with anything, if only for a few months.  What you didn't know is that a few months really means that number times 10.5.  That will be the actual date of completion.  

Another factor commonly miscalculated on the grand adventure of home makeovers is money.  You may think you have your project planned out to the penny.  Soon after tearing out the floors in the entire house you realize that you no longer like the idea of carpet in the living room and decide to go with 4", pre-finished, Brazilian cherry hardwoods instead.  You whip out your calculator, grab your trusty notebook and lower the number you have given yourself for kitchen cabinets so that you are still on budget.  That was simple enough. Then you come to doing the kitchen cabinets.  At this point you realize that you can't go with the pine you had chosen to make up for the price of the wood floors.  NOW you really think that cherry cabinets would best compliment the new floors and you have to go with what looks best because you are going to live here for the rest of your life.  This endless process continues throughout the remodel.  By the end (really there is not "end" you just decide to sell the house hoping some other idiot will see your homes "potential" and take this disaster off your hand) you have thrown out your trusty notebook altogether and have surrendered yourself to the idea that you will spend your retirement in a cardboard box. At least that won't need to be remodeled.  

Today I learned that paint always looks better on the paint chip than on your walls!

Chaos Continued...

Reader-Mommy,

How has your week been?  That's fantastic! Let me tell you about mine...

It all began last Monday when my cousin (who is more like my sister) and her two kids, 3 and 1, flew in for an 8 day visit.  We had a wonderful two days of chasing kids around, wiping snotty noses, kissing whatever booboos resulted from three boys playing, and just being moms together.  The their visit was going as good as we had hoped, then Thursday came. 

That morning, my son had woken up with a bit of a cough, but nothing attention worthy.  We all went for a walk and the boys played at the park the same as the day before.  However, upon waking up from his nap, my son's little cough had turned into that dreaded bark that any parent who lives at higher altitudes with extreme temperatures as come to know.  He had croup.  Normally it can be handled by taking the infant outside in the cold then into a steamy hot room, usually a bathroom with a hot shower on.  Unfortunately, the temperature outside was not cold enough to play it's part in breaking the cycle, so his little throat continued to swell shut.  By the time my husband got home from picking up my cousin's husband who flew in to join us for the weekend, my son's temperature a risen to 103 and his cough was getting worse. Long story short, my husband took him into the ER at 3 a.m. where he stayed until 8:00 that morning (I had to stay home since I have a newborn who is still breast feeding).  

Over the course of the next 36 hours, 24 of them were spent in the the ER, ambulance, and pediatric intensive care unit.  My husband and I took turns staying with our son while juggling company and a breast feeding infant who we did not want to bring into the hospital for fear of her catching one of the illnesses that had brought any of the other hundreds of patience. Thankfully, my cousin and her husband were extremely understanding and even more helpful and were able to watch our baby while I was at the hospital and my husband went home to sleep.  

Before it was all over, we met every nurse, doctor  and respiratory specialist on this side of the Rockies, we freaked out both set of grandparents (or they just overreacted when they heard, I am still not sure which it was), we broke the cardinal rule of hosting, sorry Martha Stewart, and fed our company Roman noodles, and we successfully proved that a human being CAN survive on 4 hours of sleep in 4 days.  

Today I learned that no matter how much you reorganize, there is always way to much stuff!

Controlled Chaos...

Reader-Mommy,

I do apologize for my negligence in the area of daily postings this week.  I will write tomorrow and explain the reasons...

Today I learned that lime green is a great color for a bathroom!

Saturday night...

Reader-mommy,

Ever feel like no matter how much you fight the mess you will never win?  There is always one more article of clothing, piece of garbage, scrap of paper, binky, bottle, or toy that remains on the floor.  What's really fun is when someone purchases your child that toy that won't shut up and every time it is bumped it rings out a tune at a volume that would rival an entire matching band in full chorus!  It is never a pleasant song that soothes your otherwise frazzled nerves.  No.  It is one of those song that you heard, no doubt, as a toddler when one of your toys belted out the same tune in your tender little ears forever branding it on your forming memory.  Until you had children of your own, you had forgotten this little melody.  However, now it plays on and on throughout your day.  You could call it the theme of your life.  

I have come to the conclusion that in order to get the upper hand on the various toys that inevitably end up decorating floors of my ENTIRE house, I must capture and cage the things.  This is done in any variety of ways.  They can be placed in a temporary holding pen (otherwise known as a toy basket), they can be put out to pasture (better known as storage bins) until such a time that the current toys are no longer interesting.  If these are not enough for any given toy,  more drastic action can be taken, in which case you slaughter the beast (or snatch it up off the floor, march it out to the garbage can and victoriously toss in the toy).  As you stroll back into the house you hear it helplessly playing that maddening tune one last time.  This is, of course, an extreme action reserved only for special toys, toys that were invented by a non-mommy, purchased by a non-mommy that somehow made it into the home of a MOMMY.

Today I learned that everyone wants to hold the baby until she cries. Then I get her.

So...

Thursday came way sooner than I would have liked.  However, it is here and that means it is "weigh day"!  I would love to be able to say that I lost 3 more pounds and am not only feeling good, but I am starting to look like Barbie with my skinny little waist and massive boobs.  Don't get jealous, reader-mommy, that is not the case.  I didn't lose any weight, I am still 131. I also don't look like Barbie.  I guess that means I still have work to do.  

Because I am trying not to lose weight too quickly, I have to modify my lifestyle one small step at a time to lose the last 15 pounds of baby weight that is still desperately clinging to my body.  Since I am no longer losing weight, I will now start to modify one weight related habit at a time.  I modify one thing after until I stop losing weight, then I'll add another modification.  For instance, I start by cutting back on sugar.  When that no longer works on it's own, I'll also cut back on carbs and so on.  Note that I don't cut OUT anything.  I only cut BACK on things.  I have found that when I cut something out completely I end up obsessing about it and inevitably break down resulting in guilt and a few extra pounds.  Modifying one habit at a time also gives me stronger will power.  Instead of going after the whole bee hive, I just smash one bee at a time...sorry Berry B. Benson.

Now, it's time to start modifying habits.  The first thing I will modify is my sugar intake.  I find that when I am not really hungry, just trying to satisfy the munchies, I eat mostly sweets (containing both high fat and high calories, neither being conducive to losing weight). So, cutting back on sugar allow me to eat better and less.  After my last pregnancy I lost most of my weight just by cutting back on sweets.  We'll have to wait and see if it still works!

Today I learned that it's much easier to get poop out of CROCS than sherling slippers.

Time to Eat...

Ok...

I am starting to think everything in my life is somehow related to food.  If I am not planning the menu for food, I am buying food. If I am not buying food, I am preparing food. If I am not preparing food, I am feeding someone food.  If I am not feeding someone food, I am cleaning up whatever mess was made either preparing the food or from the person who ate the food.  Even if everything is clean and everyone is fed I still don't get a break from food.  This is when it is time to sit down with a cup of coffee and a muffin to feed myself (in order to ensure that I am able to make milk to feed the baby) while I make a list of all the food item I need to go out and buy so that I can maintain this whole ridiculous cycle!  

The craziness does not stop there.  I have to consider the collateral damage of food. Once the food has done it's duty to my has-been physique I spend more time and energy working out in hopes of somehow redistributing the lumps, bumps and unwanted extra so that I look sexy when we go out with friends to enjoy, what else, FOOD!  And the list goes on...

Now I have to go put together my menu for this weeks so that I know what food I need to buy.  At some point maybe I'll figure out how to stop the insanity.  When I do, you, reader-mommy, will be the first to know. 

Today I learned that just because she spit up her body weight in fluid less that 2 minutes ago does not mean she can't do it again right away!

Weigh In...

Reader-Mommy, 

Okay, here's the deal, I am now 7 weeks postpartum and am setting out on my expedition to find my post-baby body.  The exciting part is that you-mommies are going to be my traveling companions.  Wether or not you have just had a baby,  or if you-mommy just have an extra pound or two to lose, you-mommy are my workout buddy.  

Thursdays are going to be dedicated to fitness.  Every week, I will weigh in and post my weight for all the world to see!  I have taken before pictures (one of the front and one of the side, both full body shots, yikes!).  Once I get this post-baby body back to my pre-baby weight I will take the same pictures and post both sets together.  If you-mommy would like to lose weight as well, I would encourage you-mommy to give your weight each week in your comment to Thursdays' blogs so that we can be accountable to each other.  Sound good? Okay, ready or not, here we go...

My final pregnancy weight was 163 pounds (give me a break, I did have a 9 pound 9 ounce). As of today, 7 weeks later, I weigh 131.  My pre-baby weight was 116-119.  Do the math and I have 15-18 pounds to lose.  Because I am breast feeding I can't lose the weight to fast or my milk production will go down and my poor little angel won't get enough to eat, it really is a vicious cycle.  That being said, my goal is to lose 2 pounds a week for the next 8 weeks.  Obviously, weight loss is never a seamless endeavor and some weeks will be more and some weeks will be less.  At the end of the day it will probably take more like 10-12 weeks for me to lose all the weight.  For those of you-mommies that want to get in on this weight loss action, do what I just did to figure out your own timeline (current weight - desired weight /2 = weeks losing weight) and put that in your comment so that I know how long to keep you-mommy accountable.  

Today I learned that 2-year olds have the ability to say "mama, mama, mama..." at least 12,000 times if you don't respond. 

A Four Letter Word...

Reader-Mommy,

Let's talk about a four letter word that is, in fact, a six letter word.  That word is budget.  I am not sure if it is an American thing or if the rest of the world has the same negative feelings about a budget. I think we think that a budget is only for poor people when the fact of the matter is not having a budget is what makes or keeps people poor. People can never afford to not know where their money is going. The rich either do it themselves, or have someone do it for them. Either way it gets done. 

I would like to discuss the whole idea of a budget because I feel it is an integral part of mommy-hood that is very often ignored.  We as mommies have a responsibility to our households.  I am not talking the whole 1950's checkered apron, beehive hair do, paste on a fake "my world could not be better" smile and hum while making a five course dinner kind of idea.  I am saying that as a woman, we-mommies have abilities that our husbands don't have.  Those abilities are not only necessary in the raising of kids, but in all other aspects of running a successful home (and, yes, there is a huge difference between a successful home and an unsuccessful home). One of those responsibilities is helping to manage the home's finances.  I am not saying that we have to do everything with the money, I would be terrible at that, but we-mommies do need to be a part of the monthly planning, or budgeting, of the household's income.  We need to know how much is coming in, how much is going out, and where it is going.  To do this, my husband and I take the following steps:

First, we have a monthly "meeting" to go over those three specifics.  Because my husband is the nerdy one of the two of us, he gets way more into the finances with Quicken and calculators and so on, but I still have a responsibility as his wife and as a co-runner of the household be educated in the area of our finances.  

Second, once we have gone over the how much and where to's, my husband and I set up a BUDGET (calm down, we do survive and live happily ever after).  Basically, we are telling our money where to go and making sure it goes there.  It is much like potty training. You point the kid in the direction of the bathroom and make sure the pee gets in the potty.    

Third, we make sure we spend the money according to the budget.  If we have allocated $300 for car maintenance, I can't decide to buy a new handbag with that.  If I have $250 for clothes, he can't buy the latest "must-have" in technology with that.  It's great because then I know that when I am spending money, I can afford to be purchasing that thing or those things. This gives me, as a women, such a sense of security and that makes me a better mommy!

Today I learned that you can, in fact, be in two places at one time.  Just learn to use your feet as hands.  

Cry Baby...

Reader-Mommy,

My youngest is 7 weeks old, or will be tomorrow.  She is now sleeping 7 and 8 hours at a time and has been doing this for about 2 weeks.  My toddler did the same thing. I watched very carefully this time around to see if I could figure out what it was that causes my babies to sleep so well.  I have talked with numerous parents struggling to get their infant to sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.  So, hopefully this post will help those of you either struggling to get you baby to fall asleep or struggling to train your baby to stay asleep.  Please note that is just something I do that has worked very well and I am sharing it with my reader-mommies simply as that.  I don't take any responsibility for other's experiences.  

I have found that the answer to this very stressful and extremely frustrating issue is to simple let my baby cry!  I pick a reasonable hour for my baby's bedtime.  I choose the time based on when she starts to show signs of fatigue such as excessive crying, droopy eye lids, restlessness, etc. If I wait too long, she becomes overly tired at which point she can get inconsolable and completely irrational making my job nearly impossible. If I choose the time too early, she won't be tired, therefore, this whole plan of attack backfires.  It is very important that this time stays consistent.  I put her down at 10, one hour after my toddler which gives me some one on one time with her. I make sure she has clean diapers and a good meal.  I have found that it is very important that she has had a good meal before bedtime!  This helps makes her feel tired.  

Okay, now she is all ready...I just have one more thing to do, put her in bed and let her cry!  I make sure she is safe with nothing in her crib that could hurt her such as excessive blankets, stuffed animals, etc.  I make sure she is warm and comfortable.  I try to have everything done right in order to be able to assure myself and she is not crying because something is wrong.  Sometimes babies just cry.  Maybe they are just like the rest of us and get cranky when they are tired. As soon as I lay her down she begins crying.  It's okay.  I just think of it as a baby workout.  It is going to wear her out so she will sleep better, hooray!  While she is crying I stay close enough to hear her, but not in the same room.  I let her cry for about 15 minutes.  If she hasn't stopped for at least 30 seconds during that time, I go in, pick her up and cuddle her for about 2 minutes.  Sometimes she will instantly snuggle in and falls asleep in my arms.  After the 2 minutes, I put her back down and do it all over again.  

What I have found is that even if I didn't put her in her bed and let her cry, she would be fussy anyways.  Then it becomes one of those situations where you say things you don't mean like "I HATE BEING A MOM!" "I AM DONE!" "IF THIS IS THE KIND OF BABY YOUR ARE, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE ANY FRIENDS WHEN YOU GROW UP!" and so on.  At the end of the day when Baby has finally fallen asleep, you find yourself repenting for everything your said earlier and praying that they won't remember the last hour and become some kind of crazy person when they grow up because they were damaged my their mother at such a tender age.  When I do bedtime or nap time the way I described above, there are a couple of very positive things that happen.  First and foremost, me and my baby are not getting angry at each other.  Second, she learns to put herself to sleep.  She also learns that the world does not revolve around her, the first step in not becoming a spoiled brat!  Finally, bedtime becomes a breeze instead of a two-hour struggle!  

I hope this helps some of you-mommies.  It is a little bit trial and error.  The main thing I do is to make sure that Baby learns to put himself/herself to sleep.  

Today I learned that multi-tasking cannot be taught...to a man!

Do it all over again...

Reader-Mommy,

I am, as I am sure you-mommy are, exhausted!  I feel like I am functioning in a perpetual state of exhaustion.  I wake up sleepy, am sleepy all day and, finally, go to bed sleepy.  The primary problem lies in the fact that I rarely get a normal nights sleep and when I do it is merely a game of catch up as opposed to what sleep should be, getting ahead.  This whole affair would not be so horrible if I had a nice 8 to 5 sort of day.  

A mommies day is more than somewhat demanding.  I never sit, except to fold the laundry. Even that is hit and miss depending on how much of my couch is taken up by the mountains of newly washed clothes.  If I am not changing a diaper, I am trying to get my toddler to the bathroom and all set up in front of the potty before he does his business on the floor.  If I am not putting in the Bee Movie then I am playing tractors.  If I am not feeding one of my two kids than I am cleaning up what they just ate.  On the occasion that they are both napping at the same time, I am trying to clean up what damage has been done to the house since they woke up that morning. Somewhere in there I am suppose to take a shower, do my hair and put on some makeup before my husband comes home in hopes of at least remotely resemble to woman he knew back before we had kids.  As if all that wasn't enough, there are always the little extras like calling friends or family back since their phone messages expressed concerns as to whether or not you were still living in the country!  

The true beauty of all this is that I finally get to bed and try to get some sleep so that I can get up the next morning and do it all over again...

Today I learned that only certain poopies float in the tub! 

Put it on...

So...

I am experience that really exciting part of postpartum life, that love-hate relationship you develop with your body.  On one hand you love it because it has just produced the newest little love of your life. You can to things you never thought you could do like prepare a four-course meal with your feet because you have to hold your newborn and color with your toddle all at the same time. If you are breast feeding, you are amazed that those two pebbles stuck to the front of your chest are now boulders large enough to give Dolly Parton a run for her money. However, there is another side to the positive.  It is this other side that I am going to discuss...

We live in a funny time as far as body image is concerned. Later I will look, more in depth, at the whole weight war in america, but today I will look at a lighter side of mommies fight with the postpartum body, how the heck do we-mommies dress the thing?!  If we-mommies had our way we-mommies would simply hide all our pre-baby clothes so as to remove all feelings of guilt brought on by the fact that we-mommies can no longer fit into those size 2 jeans. We-mommies would then climb into our trusty ol' set of oversized sweats.  In our postpartum minds, this outfit should work for everything.  It is, after all, just a transitional "style" that we-mommies plan to sport for a month or so while getting back to our pre-baby weight.  Let's face it, this plan is neither affective nor attractive.  The primary problem lies in the fact that the outfit of choice, the oversized sweats, makes us-mommies feel very comfortable thus eliminating one of the primary catalysts of change, the feeling of being uncomfortable.  Secondly, what we-mommies don't realize is that the rest of the world only sees our lack of fashion sense and draws their conclusions accordingly.  Few or none will ever say to themselves "Oh, I totally understand why she is dressed like that.  Even though she looks like a sasquatch and I can't tell if she currently weights 300 pounds or 130 pounds, I am sure she just had a baby and is only weeks away from being back to her pre-baby weight." Though we-mommies wish that is how everyone's mind worked, that is not the case.  It is a cruel world out there.

Here is my secret that I am sharing with all my reader-mommies...dress the body you currently have in clothes that fit!  One of the biggest motivations for me is when I see that I am actually a couple sizes bigger than I thought I was.  If you can't squeeze into a size 4, it is a lot harder to make yourself believe you are still a size 2 (which you have been telling yourself even though you-mommy have been too scared to try on those jeans to prove it).  Reality check!  So, you keep your motivation to get back to pre-baby weight.  However, by dressing the body you-mommy have, you-mommy come across as a confident, intelligent individual.  You-mommy will be treated better, you-mommy will feel better, your family, particularly your husband, will thank you-mommy, and all those friends who's invitations you-mommy had to turn down because of the new baby will no longer be embarrassed to be seen with you-mommy!  Suddenly, when world is not such a cruel place...

Today I learned that when you get to your whit's end, all your ideal parenting theories go right out the window...candy before lunch? Sure!

Happy Friday...

Reader-Mommy, 

Hooray for the weekend!  Weekends mean something different to everyone.  They can mean catching up on homework, yard work, sleeping, relaxing with friends or family, cleaning, doing fix-it projects, and on and on.  For mommies, the weekend means the same thing the rest of the week meant...diapers, picking up, diapers, feeding, diapers, cooking, diapers, finding where that horrible smell is coming from, diapers, cleaning up that horrible smell (which, of course means cleaning out your entire fridge because the smell was coming from that tiny container of left-overs way in the back), changing more diapers, giving the kids a tubby, and, finally, the last change of diapers before putting them to bed.  But thank goodness for the weekend!  At least someone somewhere gets a few days off. 

For me, the weekend started with my going on a date.  A date! My husband and I could not remember the last time we had been out, just the two of us.  I think we came up with something like 8 months since such an event had taken place.  We didn't do anything fancy or elaborate, just dinner at Chick-fil-a and a movie (by the way, I would highly recommend Leatherheads if you are in the mood for a light-hearted comedy).  Like I said, nothing elaborate, but it was so nice to have something to get dressed up for (meaning put on a bra and wear something other than my comfies and house slipper).  For four hours it was just my husband and me, no kids. We had just started remembering what that was like.  Then the movie ended, the credits began to roll and as soon as I thought about the kids, my milk let down.  Back to reality...

Today I learned that the idea of "potty training in a day" is a myth created to give moms like me a complex! 

Let's Get Started!

Hello, to all my reader-mommies (in this blog every word pertaining to you as a mother will be preceded by "-mommy" since, as a mother, everything in your life in enveloped in the fact that you are indeed a mother), 

Welcome to Makeover Mommy!  I am creating this blog and will be investing time and energy, neither of which I have to spare, in maintaining it because I feel very strongly that Makeover Mommy will serve a very important purpose.  It will create for mothers across the world a sense of community.  By doing so, it is my hope that it will remove that sense of isolation that inevitably sets in the moment your first child is born and your schedule takes it's first punch in the face as you turn down invitation after invitation due to your new bundle of joy.  Makeover Mommy will be made up of daily entries (I will miss a day here and there because I am, of course, a mommy) consisting of my thoughts on fashion, food, marriage and relationships, finances, fitness and, most of all, motherhood.  I will be posting as one of the last things I do before going to bed so I ensure that each entry contains all the emotions, chaos, and joy of a complete day.  

Thank you for joining me on what promises to be one wild ride!